Random pieces

When I started this blog my aim was to just keep a record of what I've done, seen and learnt. I wanted to keep emotions and personal thoughts and feelings out of it simply because in my mind these were meant to be kept private, not shared for the world to read. However, the more I blog, the more I find myself wanting to share random thoughts and feelings. I've realized that without these bits and pieces, the stories I write about will lack color and I guess lack life. I discovered this site this morning (today is a public holiday in Japan and I've treated myself to a late morning bed session) called we feel fine (http://www.wefeelfine.org/) which reminded me just how important feelings are. If someone can design a program which tracks how people are feeling all over the world  through what they blog about, then feelings must be rather important. So here goes...

Another week has gone by...time is passing so quickly. I've been away from home for five and a half months! I already feel as though a year is not long enough and that I'm not going to see or do all that I set out to do while I'm here. If I had to be honest, the only thing I really want to leave Japan with is the feeling that I've left a better person; some one wiser, more mature, open-minded and educated in many different ways. I want to leave here knowing that I've learnt more not simply about biology and how to work in a laboratory but also about life, relationships and myself. I want to leave less scared of life and what it throws my way...with a bit more trust in destiny and faith, knowing that even if the dots don't connect right now..one day they will and the whole picture would be a bit clearer.

 I guess the reason why I think I have the chance to leave Japan with these things is not because there is a secret stream of enlightenment hiding in the fields of Mobara but because this is the first time I'm alone, away from the people and the lifestyle that has defined me for so long. This year away from home has given me the chance to wipe out a blank canvas and paint whatever I want to without affecting the people I love or not living up to my responsibilities. I'm always been so scared that I'll drop the balls I'm juggling and hurt somebody, and now the balls have just disappeared and I'm free to walk around. I've realized that I have the opportunity to find out who I want to be and slowly start becoming that person.Surprisingly enough, the first thing I've learnt is that to do this I have to first be completely happy with who I am now...acceptance is the first step toward change.

Mount Bundai ski slope

On a lighter note, last weekend in Kita-kata was amazing. I had a lovely weekend with my family and they took me to the mountains for sledging which was my first time on a mountain and a ski lift!! Haha it's amazing how young and rookie-like I feel sometimes. It's really cool to experience so many new things and remember that there are so many things for me to do and see in the world. Every time I see or do something new, it serves as a reminder that the world is full of first times and that life is all about getting out there and experiencing them all.

Happy weekend xxxx

My Kita-kata family